Embryo Donation

It's that time of year. Time to pay the storage fee's for our embryos. I struggle with the decision every year. WHAT TO DO?

Do I allow them to thaw and die off? How do I really feel about this? TERRIFIED! This is the last option period. I would have to run out of all my options before this would be it.

Do I donate to science for stem cell research? Hmmmmm. I have often thought about this. How stem cell research could eventually help millions of people. BUT and this is a big BUT I do not know enough about it, and knowing that the embryos I transferred created my children, makes me say no way! These embryos are not science to me. They are humans.

Do I have another FET and try to have more kids? This is the ONLY option that my heart feels right. I would love to have more children. BUT only in a fairytale land with actual fairy's. Why? Because reality sets in and asks me "ARE YOU FING CRAZY"? My life today could not handle more children. I feel if I had more I would take away from the ones I have now. Choosing to have more children at this point would be selfish! BUT not in a fairytale land with actual fairy's. HA!

Do I donate my leftover embryos? This option comes in second with my heart. It feels right only if I truly do not want more children. BUT (here's the BUT)I do not want to donate my embryos to just anyone. I want them to go to someone who has struggled as we have. Who longs for a child to fulfil their dream. Who has met every option out there and this is their last chance. Who has a marriage as strong as mine that has withstood the test of time. I want someone who is just like me period. I've often thought if I did this could I be close to this person in the future? Could we build a friendship that would last a lifetime? Is that way off base? Am I being too greedy? HELP!

As you can see I struggle with what is the best decision?